American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 3

In case you were wondering, pieces of Flora were not in her sweater. I promise. The episode began with the police (who at this point have become main characters) retrieving the sweater from the tree. Lee confirms the sweater is Flora’s and the cops are completely over this family so their reaction is pretty much “cool” and now Lee thinks the cops are in cahoots with the hillbillies. Matt, Shelby and Lee continue to look for Flora and eventually come across more traces of her; they find Flora’s doll, er, the body of her doll with a pig head in place of the doll head. I take back what I said earlier; dead pigs are now main characters in the show. Anyway, they keep searching and eventually arrive at a house with a welcome mat made up of a decapitated pig with Flora’s doll head in place of the pigs head. They search the house sans any sort of weapon; luckily, with the exception of dead animal parts, flies and maggots, the house appears to be abandoned. They begin screaming for Flora and get a response that is coming from a nearby barn. The trio walk into the barn and find two young boys drinking milk from a pig. If you think reading that was gross you should’ve seen the actual scene.

The kids are taken into custody and the social worker tries to get the boys to talk by feeding them candy. Unfortunately for her this method doesn’t work as the only word the kids can say/scream is croatoan. Mason shows up at the police station and they all go back to the house where he then accuses Lee of hiding Flora in an attempt to run off with her. They squabble, Mason pushes Lee and then he leaves. The gang, minus Mason, tries to get some sleep but the entire property is haunted, a fact that they’ve yet to accept, and of course, Matt is awakened by a phone call. This time it’s the cops calling him; they inform him they’ve found something and he should probably head over to their location. Matt wakes up Shelby and together with Lee they meet up with the cops where they’re treated to a visual of the charred remains of Mason. After heading back home Matt notices a missed notification from his security system; it appears that when Mason left the house Lee followed behind him and didn’t return for 4 hours. Soooo….. After watching the video Shelby believes that yoga-hating Lee killed Mason and expresses her feelings to Matt, naturally Lee walks in just in time to hear her. The three of them begin to argue which prevents them from being aware of the little man who has let himself in the house. He introduces himself as a medium named Cricket and says that he was sent by a spirit to help get Flora back. He walks through the house and stops at Flora’s hiding place, telling everyone that Flora is alive and is with Priscilla. Later that evening they perform a seance to try and reach Priscilla but instead they get the Butcher.

The Butcher tells Cricket that the land is hers and she needs to protect it so everyone needs to piss off. When he tries to tell her the land isn’t hers she responds by blowing out the windows in the room, to which Cricket responds by yelling croatoan and then the Butcher disappears. Oh, the Butcher is the woman in the old-timey clothing that tried to kill Shelby, and is also the woman Shelby hit with her car. Anyway, he tells the gang that the spirits have Flora, he knows how to get her back and can retrieve her for the low, low price of $25K. They call him a fraud and kick him out but before he leaves he whispers to Lee “Emily says hi and she wonders why you quit looking for her all those years.” So get this, Emily was Lee’s first daughter whom went missing years prior. Her ex-husband is dead and she’s managed to misplace two daughters, nothing suspicious about that.

The next day Lee pays Cricket a visit and offers up the cash to get Flora back. He lets her know that it won’t be that simple because this Butcher character is no joke. Here’s the story on the Butcher: apparently back in the day she was married to the governor who put her in charge while he was away and a few guys (including her own son) didn’t like it so they conspired against her and put a metal cage over her head and left her to die in the woods. Just as she’s about to get killed by a wild pig a woman appears out of nowhere, kills the pig and then gives the pigs heart to the Butcher for consumption. The Butcher eats it and turns evil. She heads back to the camp and starts killing the men who betrayed her; the ones she doesn’t kill pledge their allegiance to her and she moves the entire colony to the area in the woods that the house was eventually built on. And THAT’S why the land is hers, Cricket!

So the Scooby gang convenes in the woods and Cricket once again tries to conjure up Priscilla. Instead he gets the Butcher only this time she came with a posse. Cricket tells the Butcher that if she gives Flora back everyone will leave the property and Lee chimes in with an offer to burn the house down, which makes Shelby lose it. Lee tells Shelby that her and Matt decided on burning the house down, Shelby is about to yell at Matt but he’s conveniently disappeared. Shelby searches for him and catches him having sex with the woman who turned the Butcher evil. Shelby runs back to the house, followed later by Matt who arrives to find cop cars and and a pissed off Shelby. She questions him about the woman and he responds with “whhaaa, I don’t know what you’re talking about”. Typical. And then the cops take Lee away, Matt asks Shelby “what did you do?”, to which Shelby replies “I don’t know what you’re talking about”. (Drops the mic) The end.

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